Dolls (1987)

What would you do if you were driving late at night through a forest, during a raging storm and your car got stuck in the mud? Would you leave your car? Seek shelter somewhere warm and dry? Break into that isolated, big, creepy looking old house over there? Of course you would!

That’s exactly what happens to the Bowers (8-year-old whippersnapper Judy, horrid dad David and evil step mother Rosemary) and a young man with two hitchhiker. Once inside the house, they’re welcomed by the owners, an elderly toy maker named Gabriel Hartwicke and his wife Hilary.

Once the guests are settled in their respective rooms, with nothing but candle light to stave off the gloom, things begin to go bump in the night. I don’t think I’m giving anything away be saying these things are the dolls of the title.

How creepy are they?!

What is surprising is how good this is. It wasn’t ever going to win any Oscars, but it’s bloody good fun. The little girl at the centre of Dolls is quite hilarious, delivering some excellent one liners to great effect. The dolls themselves are fantastically eerie and menacing, in spite of their small stature, and the effects used to create these miniature terrors are actually rather good.

Some of the acting leaves a little to be desired, and I suppose that’s a result of the obvious budget limitations. The characters, as seems to be the case with most horror films, are often monumentally stupid as well as one-dimensional. I mean, did I mention that the hitchikers are a pair of thieving English punks, core-blimey-up-the-apples-and-pairs-love-a-duck?

Score: 7/10 for the pure enjoyment of it.

Watch the full film here, I fully recommend it.