Dear lord, save us from abysmal movies and deliver us from unnecessary remakes of classic horror films. Please. Pretty please. No? Well, that’s not very nice of you, is it?
What we have on our hands here is a wholly redundant retelling of horror legend John Carpenter’s 1980 film of the same name. Both are set in Antonio Bay, a small fishing village, and in both versions the town is beset by sea-faring killer ghosts. The original is spooky and atmospheric, with Halloween star Jamie Lee Curtis on board (that’s some brownie points, right there). While the story was never the most enthralling, Carpenter made the fog in The Fog genuinely scary.
Even without Carpenter’s version as a yardstick, this insipid retread really doesn’t inspire. The male lead (Tom Welling, TV’s teenage Superman) is almost implausibly perfect, although his total lack of charisma makes him seem like a real life Ken doll rather than horror hero. His female counterpart, the gormless Maggie Grace from Taken, drifts through the 100 minute running time with a be-fuddled look on her face as she tries to unravel the ‘mystery’.
The Fog fails to scare: and for my money, that’s the biggest requirement for a horror film. I suppose that’s the problem with making a horror film with a 15 certificate. Sigh.
The Fog is an utterly pointless endeavour and I thoroughly recommend you don’t waste your time.