Oh, Danny Dyer. What can I say? You really have carved out an impressive niche for yourself, as the go to guy for any Brit flick requiring an obnoxious cockney twat. At least with a Danny Dyer film you know what you’re getting – an obnoxious cockney twat. There’s something to be said for consistency, isn’t there? I think so. And if you’ve ever seen any other film starring Mr Dyer, you’ll know what to expect from Doghouse.
Vince (played by This is England’s excellent Stephen Graham) is struggling to get over his recent divorce, so his friends decide to whisk him away for a weekend in the country. Unfortunately, when they reach their destination, they find that all the local women have been infected by some horrible virus that turns them into decomposing, man-hating, flesh-eating cannibals. Because of the government, or something. Or the army, maybe? I don’t know.
Anyway, Danny Dyer says things like this:
When we get to the country, we are gonna piss up all the trees to mark our territory, then we are gonna find a pub and get so drunk we can’t remember how to speak, and we’ll communicate in grunts like neanderthals, before passing out in the woods!
I’m sure Doghouse thinks it’s fun, but it isn’t. Not really. There’s nothing scary, apart from the terrible dialogue, the awful characters and the thin excuse for a plot. There’s not much in the way of comedy, either. Except when Dyer loses a digit, I quite enjoyed that.
Score: 4/10 because at least it has zombies. Oh, and Danny Dyer loses his finger chopped off.
I watched this as part of my quest for Shitfest, in case anyone was wondering.