The Traveler

Ah, poor Val Kilmer.  Wasn’t he a pretty big star, at one point?  I feel kind of bad because he although he remains prolific, this isn’t Willow-level film making, we’re talking about here.

Val's let himself go

Val’s let himself go

This film is so bad I’ll use spoilers throughout because a) I can’t explain how bad it is without them and b) you can’t really spoil something that’s this shit.

Anyway, Kilmer plays a drifter who turns up at a police station and tells the cops that he’s committed a bunch of murders.  At least, I think that’s what he does, he mumbles so much it’s hard to catch exactly what he says.  For a while nothing much really happens except the cops are pretty freaked out because the guy doesn’t have any finger prints.  Then when they try to do his mug shot there’s suddenly blood all over his face, except there isn’t, and then his photo looks like a shot of the invisible man.  Then he keeps appearing in places he shouldn’t and disappearing from the places he should be.

At this point the police are baffled and running around like idiots.  Or should I say the actors playing the police are baffled and running around like idiots, because they aren’t really the most convincing I’ve seen.  In fact they’re pretty lame.

Anyway,  so Val starts mumbling about the murders what he done and with each description of a murder, a cop dies.  So, I guess this should be mysterious and we’re meant to be all ‘ooh, I wonder what’s happening?’ but the whole thing is so heavily sign posted not even Mr Magoo could fail to see where it’s going.

I could probably say more, like about the flashbacks, or about the main cop’s murdered daughter but honestly, I can’t be arsed.

Score: 2/10


5 responses to “The Traveler

  1. I saw the thumbnail for this article and thought ‘looks like Meatloaf’s had some work done’, then I realised it was Kilmer. Wow.

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