White Settlers

Urgh.  I’d like to try to be nice because this is clearly a low-budget indie flick.  I’m sure everyone worked really hard, and visually it looks decent quality, not that cheap porno sheen that horror films often have but… BUT…

Just to get you up to speed, this is about Ed and Sarah, a pair of young Londoners who buy up a derelict old farmhouse in Scotland with the intention of building a new (affordable) life.  Queue estate agent helpfully explaining ‘Och, hen, you’ll no ge nae mobile reception oop heeer’ which tells us that something horrible will happen later to make them really wish they did have mobile reception.  Her additional explanations about the previous owner who died penniless, leaving a large family behind (who couldn’t afford to buy the house back from the bank) should sufficiently signpost the direction the film will go.

Helpful red-headed estate agent sets the scene

Anyway, after spending the next 30 or so minutes of the run time unpacking boxes, rewiring plugs and shagging in a nearby field (sorry Eric, no boobs), nothing much really happens.  Then something does, and it’s a bit rubbish.  I mean, I can see what they were going for but, I feel bad saying this, but this has just been done so many times before to much greater effect.

I really like the lead actress, Pollyanna McIntosh and hope to see her in more films in future.

How can someone called Pollyanna be so cool?

Score: 4/10