Unfriended

In a nutshell teenagers are the worst, and social media enables them to be even more evil and banal than a fully grown person could possibly imagine.  And ghosts.

The set up for this shitty ‘horror’ that somehow got a cinema release, is that a bunch of teenagers are doing a Skype when they realise there’s a mysterious stranger online with them.  Oooooh!  Who is it?  Why won’t they identify themselves?  Why can’t the irritating-as-shit teens hang up on them?  Who the frig gives a flying shit?  These are the questions we ask ourselves… thank god for alcohol, because I’m not sure I could go through with this without it.

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POTENTIAL SPOILER:  so, it turns out that  Skype kids were awful to a girl at school who died, so, online revenge.  END SPOILER.

So, blah blah blah and then the kids obviously start getting picked off one by one by an unforeseen force, one who has a grudge against them for a specific reason.  And who, as per tradition, will feed the kids information on a piecemeal basis, until they finally understand why they’re being targeted, and who is after them.  The fresh new approach irritating gimmick they use in Unfriended is to have the whole thing play out on a computer screen, so it’s like you’re one of the Skyping teens, yeah?

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I’ll admit I found this novel at first but after about 43 seconds I got bored.  And annoyed.  And a bit confused.  I mean, with the multiple windows, and the direct messages, and web searches all happening on screen at the same time, I wasn’t really sure where to look.  And to be honest, for such a boring, shitty film, I kind of resent being made to make that much effort.

Score : 2/10

If you’re interested in horrible teenagers being subjected to revenge plots, I’d recommend you  check out the far superior TV movie Cyberbully, starring GoTs’ Maisie Williams.

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28 responses to “Unfriended

  1. Haha, excellent review lovely Laura! I know (I KNOW!) this is shit but I still wanna watch it one day lol. Is this the one with a ‘blender scene’? (that alone could make me watch it…)

    I really enjoyed Cyber Bully too! And I couldn’t stop looking at those eyebrows, impressive.

    Have you seen Megan is Missing? That’s kind of a similar premise (how awful teenagers are, how scary modern technology is blah blah) but it’s pretty nasty in places, not a very nice movie to be honest.

  2. Hahaha! So, like, you weren’t a fan of this? 😉 Yeah… I can’t stand the thought of teenagers as it is – I don’t really want to watch the little shits Skyping!

  3. My dear fn,

    This sounds so shit I can’t even bring myself to watch it… I have three films on the list for this week that I think I’ll like – Two Step, Some Kind of Hate and Lost In the Dark….

    Yours,

    ei

    • Dear ei,
      I just looked up those films. James Hebert looks like Glenn Close in Albert Nobbs so I think I might find it distracting.

      Some Kind of Hate made me think of Forget Me Not which I tried to watch a couple of times but it was shit. But then the third time I carried on and actually thought it was quite good, and different to the usual.

      Lost in the Dark looks questionable but I really like Mae Whitman. Have you seen her filmography? She’s been in so much stuff!

      Yours randomly,
      fn

      • Dear fn,

        Can I say that I was disappointed in Lost in the Dark but after thinking about it for a while I want to say that I liked it? is that weird?

        Yours,

        ei

      • Dear ei,
        Not weird. Sometimes they take a while to sink in before you really know how you feel about them.
        Yours,
        fn

  4. This review is amazing! And yes, they are the worst. I don’t want to sound all saintly but I honestly wasn’t this horrible as a teenager, neither were any of my friends… Maybe because we were nerds… It’s like in The Breakfast Club when Brian says they’ll be friends on Monday and Claire says they won’t because she and Andrew are too cool for Brian and Allison. Stupid jerks.

    Anyways… I agree with you about this one. Pure poop. Great review though!

    • Thanks so much, Mel! I think the worst I did as a teenager was stamp up the stairs while shouting at my mum for ruining my life, before slamming my bedroom door and sulking in my room.

      This kids were MONSTERS! And this film was shit.

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