Cider and cinema: Bloodlust (2014)

Mmm…lovely cider.  How could you not love that apply goodness?  This particular cider is a very unusual flavour: toffee apple.  Yep, you read it right.  Toffee.  Apple.  I think my American friends would call it ‘candy apple’.  Now, I can’t say if it really does taste like toffee apple because I don’t ever remember eating one.  As a kid the apple part put me off, I mean, that’s fruit, right?  Who did those grown ups think they were kidding?

Anyway, regardless of how good toffee apples taste, this drink is pretty tasty.  Very smooth and unsurprisingly sweet, I could happily have this in place of a dessert after dinner.  That said, I don’t think I’d want more than one in one sitting.  I wish I could do a better job of explaining the taste, but I’m no Jilly Goolden…

But enough of that, on with the film.  I stumbled upon this one online and didn’t know what it was because it turned out that the video didn’t match the title or description, but onwards I ploughed.  The film I actually watched was a British horror, evidently made on a shoe-string, and well done to them for that.

The wafer-thin plot concerns a bunch of people who go off to a castle in the middle of nowhere to participate in a top-secret medical trial.  They must stay the full 30 days of the trial, and have no contact with the outside world on order to receive the promised £20,000 per couple.  I didn’t mention that the participants are couples?  It doesn’t matter.  It has virtually no baring on the story.

Some of these characters are awful.  I mean, just awful.  The kind of awful where you’d want to gnaw off your own hand for an excuse to get away.  There’s a gobby woman, I think she was Geordie or something but I can’t even remember, I just know that she was the worst of the bunch and I was looking forward to her coming a cropper.  SPOILER ALERT: the annoying Geordie and her hapless bloke were the first to get it.  Good riddance.  END SPOILER.

She is soooooooo annoying

After that not much happens for a while.  There’s a woman who seems like she might crack at any moment who sees a little girl who is as creepy as shit, as they always are in these films.  I think some more people go missing, or something.  And then they do the big reveal, by which point you will long since have figured out what’s going on, but at least we can all parts ways and get on with our lives.

There’s always this:

Bloodlust is a fair effort considering they clearly had an absolutely piddly budget, most of which I think they probably spent on the sequence right at the end.  It’s a shame that much of the acting is lacking, as I’m sure there must be many talented people out there who could have done a better job and wouldn’t have cost any more.

Score: 8/10 for effort but 5/10 for achievement