Cider and cinema: Bloodlust (2014)

Mmm…lovely cider.  How could you not love that apply goodness?  This particular cider is a very unusual flavour: toffee apple.  Yep, you read it right.  Toffee.  Apple.  I think my American friends would call it ‘candy apple’.  Now, I can’t say if it really does taste like toffee apple because I don’t ever remember eating one.  As a kid the apple part put me off, I mean, that’s fruit, right?  Who did those grown ups think they were kidding?

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Anyway, regardless of how good toffee apples taste, this drink is pretty tasty.  Very smooth and unsurprisingly sweet, I could happily have this in place of a dessert after dinner.  That said, I don’t think I’d want more than one in one sitting.  I wish I could do a better job of explaining the taste, but I’m no Jilly Goolden…

But enough of that, on with the film.  I stumbled upon this one online and didn’t know what it was because it turned out that the video didn’t match the title or description, but onwards I ploughed.  The film I actually watched was a British horror, evidently made on a shoe-string, and well done to them for that.

The wafer-thin plot concerns a bunch of people who go off to a castle in the middle of nowhere to participate in a top-secret medical trial.  They must stay the full 30 days of the trial, and have no contact with the outside world on order to receive the promised £20,000 per couple.  I didn’t mention that the participants are couples?  It doesn’t matter.  It has virtually no baring on the story.

Some of these characters are awful.  I mean, just awful.  The kind of awful where you’d want to gnaw off your own hand for an excuse to get away.  There’s a gobby woman, I think she was Geordie or something but I can’t even remember, I just know that she was the worst of the bunch and I was looking forward to her coming a cropper.  SPOILER ALERT: the annoying Geordie and her hapless bloke were the first to get it.  Good riddance.  END SPOILER.

She is soooooooo annoying

She is soooooooo annoying

After that not much happens for a while.  There’s a woman who seems like she might crack at any moment who sees a little girl who is as creepy as shit, as they always are in these films.  I think some more people go missing, or something.  And then they do the big reveal, by which point you will long since have figured out what’s going on, but at least we can all parts ways and get on with our lives.

There’s always this:

Bloodlust is a fair effort considering they clearly had an absolutely piddly budget, most of which I think they probably spent on the sequence right at the end.  It’s a shame that much of the acting is lacking, as I’m sure there must be many talented people out there who could have done a better job and wouldn’t have cost any more.

Score: 8/10 for effort but 5/10 for achievement

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21 responses to “Cider and cinema: Bloodlust (2014)

  1. Dear fn,

    I’ll probably pass on this grass. Yesterday I watched one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my life so I need something that might be good.

    Yours,

    ei

  2. Nice review, Laura! 🙂 I think I’ll skip this one but it doesn’t sound as bad as that Michael Biehn movie that I did end up watching. 😉 URGH!!!!

  3. I love these posts!!!! (not as much as I love that Las Vegas glass though!) I never liked toffee apples much either (all because of the apple…totally agree)

    I might watch this film you know! I have a real soft spot for low budge English stuff, no matter how annoying the characters are haha. Plus I love that kind of premise!

    Great review, keep the Cider and Cinemas coming!!!!!!

    • Yay, thanks Emma! I appreciate it. I really enjoy these because I get to do two of my favourite things – watch movies and have a drink. It’s making me more adventurous with my ciders, too.

      I think you might quite like this film, it’s not great but they look like they tried hard. As for the cider, I don’t know if it really tastes like toffee apples, but it was quite tasty.

      Oh, and that glass is my favourite. It’s the only survivor of the set of three I bought on my trip to Vegas, and it is precious to me as a reminder of a wonderful holiday. Plus it’s totally kitsch!

      • I hear that sister. I love the first cider that can actually make me feel slightly tipsy (especially if I haven’t eaten much!) I must branch out a bit with my flavours! I tend to drink the Pear flavour a lot.

        It probably doesn’t surprise you I love kitsch stuff! A glass like that would always catch my eye, it’s so cool! You be careful, don’t bloody break it. (yes mum)

        I think if anyone could quite enjoy this film, it could possibly be me!!! If I can it into my philistine schedule of The Chase and Don’t Tell the Bride of course ha ha ha.

        Can’t wait for the next Cider and Cinema! ( and I’ll let you know what flavour I try next )

      • I think you might quite like it. I’ve got another one coming up soon that I think you’ll like too, I think you’ll know it when you see it…

        You could do a guest Cider and Cinema post, if you fancy?*

        *Amazing Vegas glass not included.

      • Sounds very intriguing!! I can’t wait!

        And yes I would love to do a guest post if you’ll have me. BOO to the Vegas glass not being included buuuuut I have a Bert & Ernie glass that could be……perfect! Ha ha!

        I’d love to, thanks 🙂

  4. I miss cider! Haven’t had it in sooooo long!!

    Great post about a mediocre looking film. Yout attitude towards it made me smile hehe

    • Mmm…cider… There’s so much choice these days, it’s really come a long way from White Lightning on a park bench.

      I was feeling particularly generous on this occasion, maybe it was the cider?

      • HAHA!! I’m sure it was. Cider was what I drank before I turned 18 (legal drinking age in Australia). It was allllways Strongbow, that was the only brand that sold it back then down under. Now there are tons of brands… but back in the day, it was always Strongbow dry, two six packs!! 😀

  5. Pingback: Cider and Cinema Beer Special: In Bruges | filmnerdblog·

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